back to the future

i don't know if it has anything to do with my turning 30 this year, or my reaching 10 years in my company next year - whichever it is, i hope it is NOT that thing called midlife crisis.

it's because i have been thinking...actually, looking back - on how simple life used to be...on how big dreams have been.

what have i made of my life, so far?

i have always dreamt of becoming a doctor. in one of my elementary essays, i wrote that i wanted to be a doctor to the barrios. it was a big dream, an ambition i carried till college when i took up BS Nursing. but dreams fade and resolve falters...believe it or not, i got disillusioned during my second year when i heard these words from our teacher: that we are not to have an emotional attachment with our patients. that detachment is the key for us to effectively discharge our duties, as nurses, and of course, it would follow the same for doctors.

emotional detachment? that would break me apart. i live and breathe emotions. emotional attachment is what makes me strong and grounded.

i wonder, if i have been a doctor, or a nurse, where would i be right now? i probably would have been richer, working abroad...or maybe not. would i be with the same people i am with now?

and so, yes, we are defined by the choices we make. yes, i have taken a different, and maybe easier path. i am where and who i am now because of the choices i have made.

still, i have dreams and search for my purpose.

in due time, i will find the answers.

posted by vina @ 4:14 PM           


At 9:49 AM, June 18, 2006, Blogger Pandabonium said...

One of 2 daughters is a registered nurse. When she started college she was studying architecture, then changed her mind.

I've had many "careers" in my lifetime.

I guess the point is, there are many paths to the top of the mountain and some of us need to explore several before finding the one that is right for us.

To stay in a job or relationship or way of thinking even when it is not fulfilling, can be a mistake, as it not the destination that matters so much as the journey.


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